sex...

this has been discussed alot tonight, so i suppose i will write an effing blog about it.

you may think differently than me, but i don't care. everyone is entitled to their own opinion. period. do not try to convince me to think otherwise on this topic because i will just get angry. i am not writing this blog to convince you to think differently than you believe, i am writing it to state facts and show what i think about it all...

i hate how sex, in our society today, is not a big deal anymore. it makes me mad. the fact that sex is now considered a "heavier form of kissing" (my attempt at making a metaphor...which i don't even know if that's the right word to use) makes me angry at everyone who sees it that way.

i get angry how it isn't valued. god created it to be an act between a married man and woman to join them as one, a way to express love for one another, and, obviously, to procreate. today, sex outside of marriage is seen almost as some everyday normal thing that no one thinks twice about. casual sex is accepted by almost everyone you come across. oral sex is practically expected soon after the first kiss. it sickens me when people say "let's hump" or "let's f*ck" because then it seems so dirty. it is the perversion of the human mind that has made sex such a dirty act these days, well to me anyways. oral sex is a perversion of the actual act of sex. i don't find any part of "oral" and "sex" being combined into one act appealing in any way. it's disgusting to me...it makes me want to vomit. oral means your mouth (duh). i mean, really. it's nasty.

personally, i cannot wait until the day i am married and can have all the sex i want with my husband. i look forward to it. i don't think it is gross within the confines of marriage at all and the actual act of sex does not gross me out, which most people seem to think. it's the perversion that grosses me out. the perversion that has made it into this unvaluable and sometimes unmeaningful act between two people. this blog might possibly be too personal and way too much information for any of you people reading it but if you really have a problem with it then you wouldn't be reading it, then would you? nope. okay then...

i am the person who has chosen to wait until i am married to have sex, yet for some reason i am made fun of or seen as the loser (example: 40 year old virgin) because i have chosen to do this. i don't make fun of you for having sex before marriage nor do i laugh at you because you have had sex. i don't think it's right for you to laugh or make fun of the ring i wear on my finger because it says "true love waits"...that makes me mad. i'm tired of feeling like the idiot because i have chosen to live my life this way, when, as christians we are to wait until we are married to have sex. the most upsetting part is when fellow christians laugh when i tell them my commitment. yes, it's happened, and yes you might have been one of those people, but don't let this be a bashing of you for doing that. we are all human. we all do or say things we don't mean, most of the time in front of a crowd so that we don't seem like the odd man out. i've always been the odd man out. it's not that bad, but oh well. i'm really just venting my frustration with the world out in my blog and earlier to my friends. i get mad when what is supposedly right is made fun of. plain and simple.

trying hard to be morally sound is tough. i guess that's why life is such a struggle. the constant battle between right and wrong never ends. the guilt is always there. the conviction is always there. it's neverending. oh well, i guess i'll just continue sticking it out. i've done it for twenty years now and boy am i not even getting started yet...

(not sure if that ending or any of this made sense but i am tired and i am going to bed now...goodnight.)