i hate it...

in anderson, for the past week and for the next few weeks i have a feeling i will dislike it greatly, except for hanging out with wes, of course. other than that, i'm staying at hannah's grandparents' house, feeling like a moocher and completely uncomfortable. i wish hannah was here and not in peru. i wish i was staying at her house, but that didn't work out how i planned. i want to be in aiken with my loving family...with laura, michael, taz, and my mom. i want to sleep on the couch in the living room with laura like we did the past two nights. i want to laugh at stupid things that no one else thinks is funny except us. i don't want to stay in a place and feel alone when i go to sleep. it's dumb. i don't want to work until the 23rd and possible work the days after christmas. i want a week off from work and not get fired. this is my christmas list. my mom said it's going to be another "poor" christmas and i'm probably not even having christmas with anyone on my dad's side of the family because 1) i don't want to see or talk to annette for a long time and 2) my dad thinks i'm a selfish, horrible, disappointment of a daughter in everything i do, so i'm just not going to deal with that crap. he missed my 21st birthday. i think he was sad...oh well. things are so out of place in my life right now, but for some reason, despite the lonlieness i feel right now in anderson, i'm happy with my life and wouldn't trade anything that has happened to me in the past year for anything.

let's hope monday doesn't hold too much drama when hannah returns to the united states. tomorrow night should be fun though...following 9 hours of work. wes and i are going to go see i am legend and he is going to let me play with his brand new macbook pro! :) sweeeeeet!