carry all my thoughts

read this on haley's tumblr. dang.

Really. When You think about it. Love is supposed to be freeing and my love for people is not freeing. I dont even feel free in my own love for people.

Love doesn’t try to capture people and make them it’s own. It isn’t self seeking. It waits in the midst of pain and trial. It wants the loved one to grow and learn and will even want that at the expense of losing them, letting them leave. Love is “I want the best for you even if the best thing for you is to never see you again”.

Love honors, it doesnt expose. Love waits, it doesnt demand. Love puts itself aside. It is calm. It is patient. It gives. Always. If my love has anything to do with taking and protecting what I’ve received, not sharing, then it isn’t love. It’s covetousness with a dash of emotional attatchment. Maybe dependancy. Side of lust, to tie the knot.

We all talk about marriage like “yay marriage omg white dresses and romance and cuddling and sex” and I am honestly at a place where I’m like, “Are you kidding me? I can barely give someone two dollars for the bus with my heart right, nevermind laying down my entire life for someone else. “

We tend to make it about sex and affection and about fairy tales and white dresses and this might be one of the most damaging fantasies we’ve ever believed. I’ve ever believed. If you’re craving a husband or wife, ask yourself this: Am I ready to give everything for someone else with the possibility of not receiving?

Because that’s what love is. It pours out extravagantly onto another. Love gives everything, and expects nothing.